However, that was far from the reality. The discomfort I felt during the insertion process of the IUD was worse than when my son was actually descending into my birth canal. I had discussed with the doctor who performed the in-office procedure my pain tolerance levels and she was confident that I would feel nothing after learning about my easy labor and birth process. But I believe that as a Black woman, the pain was greatly downplayed and ignored. I wish that there was more transparency on what it could feel like and that it is equally a part of the education process on IUDs.
It took nearly a year for me to feel “settled” with the IUD. I decided to keep it because I no longer have to be concerned with taking the pill daily. It’s a very effective form of birth control and lowers my risk of getting cervical cancer. And as someone who has been diagnosed with high-grade precancerous cells on my cervix, the IUD is a good option for me. I really feel comfortable knowing that it’s there and I don’t have to really worry about it.
LIN C., 34
New York City
“I found that communication helped with my discomfort.”
I learned about IUDs from my ob-gyn when I was 23. I was looking for an alternative to the Nuvaring because I kept forgetting to put it back in after having sex. [Editor’s note: Experts do not recommend removing the Nuvaring during sex. However, the hormones it emits protect against pregnancy for up to three hours, even after the ring itself has been removed.] I wanted something I could easily forget about and the Mirena was covered by my insurance.
I was nervous on the day of my appointment. I have a low tolerance for pain and my doctor had warned me that I’d feel crampy and uncomfortable for a few days. I took Motrin, but I still felt cramps and dull aching during the insertion. The doctor had explained every step and would tell me what he was going to do before he did it. I found that communication helped with my discomfort.
I had my second IUD—a Liletta—up until a few weeks ago, as my husband and I hope to conceive. If you’re looking for a low-hormone birth control option, I’d say the IUD is the way to go. I never really had side effects that I experienced when on other birth control options. I didn’t gain weight, was not hungrier than usual, didn’t experience heavy periods, and I loved that I could easily forget about it. If I were to go back on birth control, I’d opt for the copper one, as I do not want to put more hormones in my body.”
EMILY L., 29
Tallahassee, Florida
“The nurse seemed annoyed and tried to gaslight me, saying, ‘It’s not that bad.’”
I never actually got my IUD because my insertion appointment went so terribly. I was trying to get the Kyleena when I was in college in 2017. It seemed like the best option for me at the time, since I knew it would be several years before I would want to have children. My doctor had been pretty persuasive, saying how it was an easy, painless form of birth control I didn’t have to worry about for years.
The insertion process was miserable. Before going in for my appointment, I had read a lot about what to expect and took two ibuprofen. A nurse first used a metal tool to attempt to measure my cervix. I immediately started cramping and felt extreme pain. I got lightheaded and asked my doctor to stop, saying I didn’t think I would be able to complete the process. The nurse seemed annoyed and tried to gaslight me, saying, “It’s not that bad,” and “Everyone in the office has done it with no issue.”
I was incredibly embarrassed and started to tear up. At the time, I was especially shy and rarely spoke up for myself, so it was hard for me to even voice my discomfort to begin with. To be met with her reaction was very discouraging. She left the room and returned with another nurse who asked if I wanted to try again. When I said no, she suggested I talk to my doctor about getting anxiety medication and then try to come back.
I’d recommend that anyone interested in the IUD do their research on their providers. I am almost positive I would have continued with it—and actually gotten the IUD—had I been at a different provider who respected me. Even if it was the same painful experience, I may have gone back and tried again if they didn’t make me feel so embarrassed about my reaction.
ROSA P., 24
Brooklyn
“I got one begrudgingly because I felt as though my future needed to be protected.”
I decided to get an IUD for two reasons: I did not want to get pregnant anytime soon and my ob-gyn said an IUD could help with my nauseating period pain (her logic was IUD equals no period equals no pain) and ovarian cysts. My insertion appointment felt complicated and longer than it should have been. Getting a pap smear is already uncomfortable and painful, so having the speculum open me up for an even better view of my cervix was exhausting. I felt so exposed.
For a month and a half after the appointment, I bled and bled and bled. After I got my IUD, I developed more ovarian cysts and sex became painful.
My current gynecologist, who I started seeing about a year and a half after I got my IUD, told me she could not comprehend why I had Mirena as someone with a history of ovarian cysts. My jaw dropped. I saw four to five other gynecologists between the doctor who inserted my IUD and my current ob-gyn and none of them had told me ovarian cysts [which I was already predisposed to] were a common side effect.
I no longer have my IUD, and looking back I felt like I got one begrudgingly because I felt as though my future needed to be protected—especially in the current political climate around reproductive rights. There’s a bitterness about having to go through something this traumatizing.
My advice for anyone who is getting an IUD would be to remember that one gynecologist’s opinion does not mean everything. Get multiple opinions. Go with who you feel is listening to you.
MACKENZIE D., 29, New York City
“Both experiences were brutal—downright barbaric.”
I have now been through the IUD insertion process twice. Both experiences were brutal—downright barbaric. I remember feeling faint and the blood draining from my face as my first IUD was inserted. For my second IUD, I nearly vomited from the pain. After all was said and done, my doctor said, “It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? I would love to give my patients pain meds for this.” I’ve recently heard some lucky people have had their providers offer lidocaine. Jealous!
The crazy thing is that I still recommend getting an IUD to every single friend who has asked me about it. It’s given me lighter, more regular periods and I’ve had few, if any, physical side effects. I love the peace of mind it has afforded me. It has been freeing.
MARIA D., 34, New York City
“If something doesn’t feel right, speak up.”
I have had two IUDs—the Mirena and the Skyla. Mirena came first. The insertion for both was deeply uncomfortable. I had no pain medication, and when they clamped on my cervix, I broke out into a cold sweat and thought I was going to faint. I had to take off work for two days because of cramps and discomfort. All was well until my first period. Two days before my period started, I got the most intense cramps of my life. It felt like someone was twisting a knife in my uterus. I was brought to my knees; I had to lay on my stomach and scream into a pillow. I haven’t had children yet, but if that’s what labor is like, I’m a little terrified.
When I asked my gyno about this, he brushed me off and said that it was likely my body getting used to the IUD. But it continued for a year and every few months I’d check in with my gyno and get the same answer. Finally, after a year, I got the IUD removed.
Two years later, I tried again with Skyla, which is smaller—I thought that would help. By this point I had a new gyno who closely monitored the situation. It was placed (again, no pain meds) and like clockwork, the cramps returned. I tried to keep it in for six months, but only made it to four before I got it removed. Now I’ve sworn off IUDs, which is difficult because hormonal birth control pills are not an option for me because I get migraines with auras—and mini-pills [progestin-only birth control pills] left me with monthlong periods. I’m currently not on any birth control and it feels really unfair that the typical modes of family planning aren’t available to me. Although I recently got married, we’re waiting a bit to start trying to get pregnant and it still makes me laugh that I need to ask my 39-year-old husband to put a condom on during certain risky parts of the month.
After everything I’ve been through, though, I would encourage people to use the IUD, but with some caveats. The most important thing is to ask questions of both your doctor and of friends who have had the IUD. I email my doctor all the time. She’s probably sick of me by now. But the way I look at it, I have a right to get answers to the questions I have when it comes to my body, so I never feel strange about asking them. I’d also consider your previous relationship with birth control. I have had a terrible time finding a solution that works for me, and so I go into every new experience a little wary because I know my own body.
Which leads me to my final point—listen to your body! If something doesn’t feel right, speak up. If you got the IUD placed two weeks ago and you’re experiencing pain, flag it to your doctor. And if they tell you to wait it out and that doesn’t feel right, advocate for yourself. At the end of the day, you are the person living in your body and you deserve to be comfortable in it. In this case, that is more important than what your medical provider may suggest.
MARI H., 37, Atlanta
“Why not prepare a patient properly? Why not show any sort of empathy?”
If the removal process is anything like the insertion process, I plan on dying with my IUD still inside me. Not really, of course. I will obviously have it removed, but I do not look forward to that day. My doctor and NP told me that I could expect some pressure and a slight pinch, and that the process would be quick and pretty much painless. Instead, the insertion process was intense, painful, and emotional.
I have one child, who I gave birth to 15 years ago. Some of the pain that came with the IUD insertion was similar to how things feel post-birth. The main difference, though, was that when I had my daughter I had an epidural. With the IUD insertion I had only taken two ibuprofen. There was a lot of blood. Before I left the room, all they gave me was a pad to put on, and that was that.