Our dads died far too young… we would do anything to have them back

BE it your dad, stepdad, partner, brother or friend, today is all about celebrating the father figures in our lives.

Cards and gifts will be ripped open and families will come together to heap praise and love on the men who stand beside them.

11

But, spare a thought for Will Castle, Stevie Scott, Harry Cleary and the families of more than 2,500 men who die prematurely in the UK each week.

For them, Father’s Day is an unpredictable rollercoaster of emotions reflecting on the huge dad-shaped holes left in their lives.

That’s why they have joined forces with leading charity Movember.

Their heartfelt stories feature on three of seven commemorative Father’s Day cards designed by the charity.

They aim to encourage more open conversations around both mental and physical health – to help prevent other families facing a tragic loss.

Movember boss Michelle Terry, says: “There has long been a misconception and stigma surrounding men’s health that has held people back from seeking help when it’s needed.

“And at a time when men’s health is taking a worrying dip against a backdrop of economic and social unrest, urgent collective action is needed to make men’s health a national priority.

“The next government must put this issue front and centre of their plans if we are to halt the unacceptable decline.”

Here, Will, Stevie and Harry bravely share their stories to help others.

‘I wish I had answered the phone’

WILL CASTLE’S father Paul was 54 when he took his own life in November 2010.

The 35-year-old company director, from Whetstone, North West London, says Father’s Day has changed meaning since he became a dad himself in 2018.

11

11

11

11

Will’s father was not around for much of his son’s early childhood but they grew close after the lad’s seventh birthday.

Will says: “He was the type of dad who had children to be their friend, and when I was old enough to be into cars and other things he loved, we grew incredibly close.”

Paul went through some financial hardships in 2010, leading him to take his life.

Will says: “I missed a call from Dad on the morning he died. I’d tried to get him all morning afterwards but the idea of suicide never crossed my mind.”

After hearing that a Tube line had been suspended because of a body on the tracks, Will contacted British Transport Police.

He says: “They confirmed it was Dad. I asked which hospital he was in and I was told there was no hospital, that he was dead. I threw up and screamed.

“Dad was warm, loving and approachable but he was old school – you couldn’t cry in front of him, much less talk about emotions. I’d have given anything for Dad to have told me he was struggling.

“I wish I’d answered the phone that morning, too.

“I’ll never know what he was going to say.

“If anyone’s reading this and feeling isolated, please reach out. There’s so much support out there.”

‘Feel close to him when I run’

HARRY CLEARY, 26, from Clapham, South London, was 24 when he lost his dad Graham to ill health in February 2023 after a lifetime of his father battling drink and drug addictions.

Harry, a fundraising officer at Movember, says: “Dad was my hero and just 56 when he died.

11

11

11

“We never really had a normal Father’s Day – it was always difficult with Dad’s addictions.

“At 15, I started to learn that he was a high-functioning addict.

“He ran his own business but would have stints in rehab and would go to AA meetings.

“When his addictions ended his life, there was a huge sense of shock. That came alongside a sense of relief, too – he’d spent my whole life in pain and battling and he was finally at peace.”

Harry took up running to cope with his grief, raising money for Movember.

He says: “I went from doing a 5k to ultra marathons. In November last year, I did four 56k ultras – I chose the distance as it’s the age Dad was when he died. I feel close to Dad when I run.

“Losing my father made me realise being a dad is the most important job in the world.

“Father’s Day is very different for me now. I’d give anything to have Dad back.”

‘He delayed seeing doctor

STEVIE SCOTT, 20, a student nurse from Nottingham, lost her father Simon in 2019 aged just 60 to prostate cancer.

She says: “Dad was a sales manager and despite being under the weather in 2011 he’d had a big project at work and so delayed going to the doctor.

11

11

11

“When he finally went, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer.”

Stevie was seven at the time and she says: “I don’t remember my dad ever being completely healthy, I just remember the illness. He really fought throughout the years.

“He’d have chemotherapy and be really ill, but he tried so hard and hid so much from us. He was just the best dad, too – he lived for his family.

“Six months before he died, he was told there was nothing else that could be done. We didn’t talk about him not being around any more when he was alive because he wanted to remain positive.

“I wasn’t with him when he passed away peacefully at a hospice but I miss him every day.”

Stevie, who was 15 when her dad died, says: “Father’s Day is difficult every year. We spend it with my grandad and we all talk about Dad.

“I know men are getting better about talking about their mental health but they need to look after their physical health as well.”