How do Avs solve Valeri Nichushkin problem? Trade for Nazem Kadri.

The parade route runs between Val Nichushkin’s ears and through the icy grip of his demons. Better to turn right on Broadway. 

You wish Nuke well. First. Foremost. Always. Get right, big guy. Take as much time as you need. Even if it’s more time than you want.

Big 13 is a hockey unicorn. A walking cheat code. A monster truck with a cheetah’s gait, an eagle’s eye and a surgeon’s hands, mitts kissed by the hockey gods.

And if I’m Avalanche general manager Chris McFarland, I don’t make the same mistake twice. I don’t trust him. I don’t count on him.

Oh, I love him. Like a son. But after Nuke’s second extended absence from this locker room in eight months, this time to enter the NHL/NHLPA assistance program, I don’t assume his presence in the Stanley Cup Playoffs anymore.

And I don’t waste another year of Cale Makar, Nathan MacKinnon and Mikko Rantanen, Hall-of-Famers all, humming in their primes. I don’t sit there staring at the window while it’s open, whistling in the breeze.

“There’s a window of opportunity where these things present themselves,” longtime hockey analyst Kevin Weekes, now with the NHL Network and ESPN, told me the other day. “And sometimes, you’ve gotta pounce.”

If I’m McFarland, it’s pounce or go home.

Are we doing this? Or not? Marc-Andre Fleury would look amazing as veteran insurance to ease All-Star Alexandar Georgiev’s mounting workload between the pipes. The riddle at second-line center remains maddeningly unsolved, with vet Ryan Johansen raising more questions than answers by the day.

Hello, Calgary!

The Flames are on a precipice right now, a franchise trapped in the purgatory of “meh,” unsure whether to blow it up or go for broke. While Calgary brass is busy trying to pick a path, I make them an offer they can’t refuse. Just so long as they can solve my 2C issue and Nichushkin quandary in one fell swoop.

Elias Lindholm, you say? A 20-goal scorer in his prime (age 29) would certainly help, no question. But he’s also an unrestricted free agent after the season and might make for an expensive rental.

If we’re pouncing here, really pouncing, let’s get wacky. Let’s get Nazem Kadri back in Burgundy and Blue. Let’s the get the band back together.

“Look, if you’re trying to get (back to the Cup final), if I’m the Avs, do I want Lindholm? Maybe,” Weekes continued. “Do I know how he fits in Colorado? I don’t know. But I do know what Naz does. I know what Naz does as a member of the Avs.”

We’ve seen this movie before, and it rocks. Glue guy. Anchor. Power play pest. Zero fear. Wild card.

More to the point, even at 33, Nasty Naz is still dealing in all the areas where the Avs could use the most help. Kadri headed into Saturday night averaging 1.2 goals, 1.6 assists and 2.7 points per 60 minutes on the power play, according to Hockey-Reference.com. That’s comparable to his rates in both 2019-20 (1.2, 2.1, 3.4) and ’20-21 (1.1, 2.1, 3.2) with Colorado. And just as effective as Lindholm’s numbers of 0.8, 2.4 and 3.1 over his first 45 appearances with the Flames.

Yes, our man’s on the wrong side of 30. Yes, he’s got five more years remaining on a sweetheart free-agent deal that presents a $7 million cap hit through the spring of 2029. Yes, Naz has a no-movement clause in his contract. He also let it be known fall that he’d have no interest in sticking around Alberta to slog through a Flames rebuild.

“It begs the question of trying to get him back,” Weekes said. “You know how he fits in there. There’s no guessing. It’s proven.

“Let’s put it this way: All the boxes are checked. And the cap’s going up next year, so you really wouldn’t be spending (irresponsibly). It would just be like, ‘Welcome home, let’s rock.’”