‘Vanderpump Rules’ Season-11-Premiere Recap

Vanderpump Rules

Notes on a Scandal

Season 11

Episode 1

Editor’s Rating

3 stars

Photo: Bravo

There was no way that the first post-#Scandoval episode was going to please everyone. Heck, it might not have even pleased anyone, given the shocks, turns, and citizen journalism that electrified last year’s groundbreaking season. But this episode is about as good as we could have expected. Mostly it’s catch-up, setting the scene for what is going on three months after the reunion finished filming and preparing us for a season with a whole new set of allegiances and friendships. But it also manages to feel different somehow.

First off, it looks more expensive. I don’t know if they changed how they shoot the scenes or it’s all in postproduction, but it’s giving glitzy — it’s giving high-end. Just the way the scenes are blocked and shot made me think more Selling Sunset or The Hills and less, well, shitty WeHo apartments where you can’t use the microwave and the air conditioner at the same time or the transformer that is buried under the Pacific Design Center will explode and take down all of Santa Monica Boulevard in a giant ball of flame.

There’s also something different when it comes to what we’re talking about. At first, Vanderpump Rules was about the people who worked at a sexy, unique restaurant that served goat-cheese balls and Pinot Grigio. Then it was about a group of people who pretended like they still worked there even though they were too famous for it. Then it was about young business owners who would stop by SUR and consult Lisa while working on their other ventures. But when #Scandoval catapulted the stars into the pop-culture stratosphere, it metamorphosed into something else. Ariana talks about how Tom is away filming another reality show, and we know she is about to go into Dancing With the Stars at any moment. She talks about Tom having an assistant named Ann, who not only has the indignity of having to talk to Tom every day but also had to glue the penis flute back together. Schwartz is talking about how people are booing him on the street and coming into Schwartz & Sandy’s to harass the bar staff. Then — the most shocking turn of all — Lala actually mentions the name of the show when saying that her ex’s main sticking point in their custody agreement is whether or not her daughter, Ocean, will appear on Vanderpump Rules.

We’re no longer pretending these people work in any field other than the reality-television arts and sciences. The tabloid world is now their real world. It is now the show’s real world, too, and that is going to be a little bit tricky to navigate. However, I did love the very unsubtle read of showing James and Ally in the backyard of their house in Burbank and making sure we can hear every single one of the planes landing at the nearby airport. No matter how famous these kids get, they’re never going to be living in Villa Rosa, an event space that doubles as a menagerie and assisted-living facility.

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