After 5 miscarriages and a stillbirth, Quebec MNA draws attention to perinatal loss

Every Oct. 15, Désirée McGraw and her family visit the grave of her stillborn daughter, Catherine.

But this year, the Liberal member of Quebec’s National Assembly will make her annual journey with the knowledge that her colleagues of all political stripes have her back.

On Thursday, McGraw’s bill to have Quebec formally recognize Perinatal Bereavement Awareness Day, also known as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, passed with unanimous support.

“Most people know me as a mom of three very active, healthy boys. And for that I am very grateful. But I’m also the mother of a daughter,” the MNA told As It Happens host Nil Köksal. 

“For a lot of families, when they experience the loss of a child, you often blame yourself. And I think in my case, and for those women who experienced a loss within our own bodies, it’s very, very difficult. And so recognizing this day, and providing support to families, I think it’s very important to move through the grieving process.”

Quebec now joins several other provinces and territories in formally recognizing the annual day of remembrance, including B.C., Manitoba, Ontario, Nova Scotia New Brunswick and the Northwest Territories.

Deeply personal 

Before McGraw’s bill passed 115-0, she stood in the provincial legislature and told her story of losing Catherine eight years ago at 36 weeks of pregnancy, just days before her scheduled C-section. 

The baby had been deemed healthy during an ultrasound just a week prior, she says, but died of asphyxiation when McGraw contracted a virus due to a longstanding, but previously undiagnosed, autoimmune disorder.

Before her stillbirth, she says she had five miscarriages.

At first, she says she wasn’t planning to go into details about her deeply personal health-care story in front of her fellow lawmakers. But about five minutes before her speech, she changed her mind. 

“It’s been a process,” she said. “Destigmatizing such a difficult loss and grief, I think, is important.”

100,000 Canadian families

Every year, nearly 100,000 Canadian families experience perinatal death, according to the Quebec-based Centre for Studies and Research on Family Health Intervention, which defines the term as anything from an early-pregnancy miscarriage, to the death of an infant up to six weeks after birth. 

“For our family, we call this Catherine’s law,” McGraw said. “We also believe that this is a law that would be in honour of all of the children of the many … families in Quebec who are affected by perinatal loss every year.”

While the formal recognition doesn’t come with any specific policy changes, McGraw says she sees it as a “very important first step.”

She says she’d like to see this bill followed by “more concrete measures” in Quebec to support families, including grief counselling that is accessible to all parents regardless of their financial situation, better training for health-care workers dealing with perinatal deaths and paid time off from work, for both mothers and fathers, to grieve after a miscarriage.

“There’s …  a whole bunch of grieving and impacts on the couple, because you’re blaming yourself, you’re blaming the other person,” she said. “It’s pretty heavy duty, and so you do need some time.”

While there’s still a lot to do, she says she’s hopeful for the future after receiving bi-partisan support for her bill. 

“Some of the most meaningful moments in the legislature are when we get through the partisan stuff, and in a shared sort of a sense of our common humanity, come together around unanimous motions.”