One of the calling cards of today’s Nice Price or No Dice Plymouth Colt is its “Twin Stick” overdrive gear change, which gives the car eight speeds going forward and two in reverse. Let’s see if this project car has anything else to offer.
Just as Goldilocks discovered when appropriating Papa Bear’s lifestyle and finding it all too much to handle, so too did the majority of you find the $5,900 asking price on yesterday’s 1984 Nissan 720 4X4 too grand for your liking. In support of that price, the ad claimed the truck to be well-maintained and that it exhibited “pride of ownership.” It’s been said that pride goeth before a fall, and for the 60 percent of you who gave the 4X4 truck a No Dice loss, that fall in its price couldn’t come soon enough.
Today’s Plymouth Colt GTS Turbo is from the same year as yesterday’s Nissan— 1984. That, however, is where the similarities end. Unlike the comfortably worn-in and hard-working appearance of yesterday’s Nissan, this Plymouth looks like it’s got one tire in the junkyard.
The Colt comes from an era when Chrysler had little money and almost as little imagination. Built by partner Mitsubishi, the Colt had originally been a Dodge exclusive when imports first began in the early ’70s. Things changed with the introduction of the fourth generation model in 1978, which switched to FWD and expanded to Plymouth dealers as the short-lived Champ.
The Champ didn’t prove worthy of its name, so in 1983, Chrysler stopped even pretending that there was any difference between Dodge and Plymouth and switched the latter’s small import to the shared name of Colt. The company would follow the same unimaginative strategy a decade later with the Neon.
Seeking to add some spice to the model and perhaps make up for the lackluster naming choice, Chrysler introduced a turbocharged edition of the Colt for the 1984 model year. Branded as the GTS Turbo, the model offered a 102 horsepower 1.6-liter SOHC four featuring fuel injection and was made available with Mitsubishi’s wonderfully weird “Twin Stick” four-speed with overdrive on all four gears manual.
This is one of those rare GTS Turbo models. Or, at least, it was. You see, this car needs—looks over the ad—seemingly everything.
According to the seller, the car does not run, does not have a title, and has a number of missing parts that are probably only available in some other part of the Spiderman Multiverse. With consideration of the daunting task ahead for anyone willing to take this project on, the seller jovially asks, “If you love spending 8k fixing up a car to make it worth 7k, I’ve got your next one here!”
The ad does note that while the title is missing, the VIN does come up as clean. The car is also fairly complete where it counts, with all the glass intact and the drivetrain, while not running, seemingly being made capable of doing so. It also has some good-looking aftermarket alloy wheels and what the seller describes as “decent tires,” so it should easily roll onto a trailer or rent-a-dolly.
It’s also fairly rust-free, save for a couple of mouse holes in the driver’s door. The interior is in contrastingly terrible shape, having lost much of its upholstery and the dash cap. Everything else looks like it would require a hazmat suit to so much as touch, much less live with. There are just over 128,000 miles on the clock, although it’s debatable whether mileage on a car of this nature matters in the slightest.
This is, after all, a project. Or maybe it’s some sort of stationary art installation. Either way, it will seemingly cost someone $950 to obtain—bill of sale only.
The current owner suggests that they would also consider trades for the car and are especially keen on a vintage street motorcycle or some sort of classic bicycle. Hell, I’d like a daily foot massage from Taylor Swift, too, but I don’t see either of these things happening in this universe.
So, we’ll just have to consider this project at its $950 asking. What do you think? Does that seem like a fair price to take on a restoration of a rare and funky ’80s hot hatch icon? Or should this Colt simply be put out to pasture?
You decide!
Phoenix, Arizona, Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.
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