One woman, Yu Fei, who had already been through a divorce and had two children, decided to live with her current husband before receiving the bride price.
In her village of Lingang, the average bride price – a sum of money traditionally paid by a man to the bride’s family – is between 700,000 and 800,000 yuan (US$97,000 to US$110,000), far higher than most places in China.
Hu Mingliang, a local village official, said that a gender imbalance had fuelled fierce competition in the marriage market, inflating the size of the payment.
A sought-after young woman with multiple suitors may find themselves involved in a bidding market, which in some cases can see the bride price reaching hundreds of thousands of yuan, possibly even topping one million yuan (US$140,000).
Yu said that inflation-inducing competition is not limited to the groom’s side, as bride’s families also participate in this rivalry to “save face”.
“Some parents think that if that woman got a bride price of 680,000 yuan (US$94,000), my daughter must get 720,000 yuan,’” Yu told the Shanghai Observer.
Yu’s decision did not remove the bride price from the equation, partly because she had two sons.
Although her ex-husband provided financial support, the potential costs of her sons’ future weddings remained a significant concern, especially if Yu did not receive a bride price that could help cover these expenses.
Yu hopes that by accepting a lower bride price, she will help set a precedent to lower expectations.
“Lv Yichen and I are both in our thirties and looking for a partner with whom to share our lives. Before we married, I told him that a bride price of 120,000 yuan (US$16,600) would be enough.
“We decided to live together first to test our compatibility, and if things worked out, he would then pay the bride price,” said Yu.
Onlineobservers are dubious that the culture shift will spread.
“She is remarried with two children, but still asking for ‘only’ 120,000 yuan as a bride price? My goodness!” one person said.
“It’s terrifying that 120,000 yuan is considered low,” added another.
A third person said: “Paying the bride price only if compatible? Is this ‘cash on delivery’? This is becoming increasingly absurd!
“Why not adopt an installment payment plan over three years, with a small payment made every day? That way, neither side is at a disadvantage. It’s becoming more ridiculous!”