Reverend Richard Coles has revealed that he lied to the church about being celibate while married to his late husband.
In an interview with The Times, the former Communards star and famous former clergyman said of his relationship with the church: ‘I felt sometimes like I was in the resistance and they were the Gestapo.’
Coles, 61, who recently lost his mother Elizabeth, was married to Anglican priest David Oldham for nine years before Oldham’s death from alcoholism in 2019.
Writer and broadcaster Coles, currently on tour with his Borderline National Trinket show, wrote a memoir The Madness of Grief, about living with someone in the grips of alcohol addiction – and the ‘paralysing’ period of sadness that followed.
In the article published this week, Coles revealed why he chose not to be truthful while working for the church, saying he felt his former employers had ‘no moral cause, so I didn’t feel that I had a moral obligation at all.’
The famous former clergyman, right, lost his partner David Oldham in 2019; the pair were married in 2010 before Oldham’s death from alcoholism. Coles told The Times that he wasn’t truthful about being celibate
Coles, who retired from his role as vicar at Finedon, near Peterborough, in April 2022, said he felt he had ‘no moral obligation’ to be truthful with the church about his private life
Coles, who was vicar at St Mary the Virgin church in Finedon, near Peterborough, from 2011 until April 2022, when he retired, added: ‘I’m not the first person to find themselves obliged to lie for institutional reasons in the Church of England.’
The ex pop star, who presented BBC Radio’s Saturday Live for 12 years before leaving the show last year, said that while church attendances are dwindling, those who remain are often more conservative in their views.
He said: ‘The big figure is one of precipitous [church] decline, but within that decline there are areas of buoyancy and they often tend to be people who are very conservative.’
Richard revealed in 2023 that he has found love again with actor Dickie Cant, 58, (pictured in 2019) some three and a half years after the death of his husband
The broadcaster, who appeared on Strictly Come Dancing in 2017, announced earlier this month that his mother Elizabeth had died
Coles is currently dating the actor Dickie Cant, 58, who is the son of Brian Cant, who presented children’s TV shows such as Playschool and Dappledown Farm in the 60s and 70s.
Coles met Dickie on the dating site Elite Singles and the pair hit it off straight away, with Coles suggesting that marriage could soon be on the cards, telling The Times he could ‘imagine it heading that way’. The 58-year-old actor, from Kent, has starred in Mary Queen of Scots, Stan & Ollie and Doctor Who.
The famous clergyman took to Twitter on Friday evening as he shared a picture of his mum laughing on her wedding day as he revealed the sad news
Earlier this month, Coles told X, formerly Twitter, that his mother had died.
Sharing a photo of her, he wrote: ‘Mum died last night. Here she is on her wedding day, laughing. No mummy’s boy (hello) could have wished for more. RIP’
Before the death of his husband, the couple lived with their dogs Daisy, Pongo, Audrey and Horatio in the vicarage of St Mary’s.
They met after David approached Richard for advice on joining the clergy and soon developed romantic feelings for each other but maintained a celibate relationship.
Oldham’s death in December 2019 shocked parishioners, as he kept his failing health private while battling illness for more than a year.
David, who became increasingly ill with liver disease, was determined to keep the drinking problem that eventually killed him a secret, however there were public outbursts including one that involved the police.
After David died, Rev Richard explained how he had asked his partner’s family for permission to share his experiences of life with an addict – in the hopes of helping others in the same situation.
The star admitted last June that he thought he was ‘out of the game’ after the death of his beloved husband.
Speaking on Lorraine, he said: ‘I wanted to meet someone who had been around the block and wanted to share a life with someone. I thought I was out of the game when David died.’
He revealed losing David and getting back into the dating game made him feel like ‘a polar bear coming out of hibernation and looking for a seal’, however using a dating app helped him gain confidence and find love once again.
Reverend Richard retired from the clergy a year ago as he could not excuse how the Church of England ‘doesn’t treat people fairly’ in respect to its position on homosexuality.
This post first appeared on Daily mail
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