I Tried Peoplehood. Here’s My Honest Review.

Seated in a circle with seven strangers, I started word vomiting. I explained that I’d been feeling overextended and that I was conflicted about someone I’d started dating, but that, like, overall I was happy. The other members of the circle placed their hands on their hearts to show that they sympathized without breaking rule number five: no interrupting.

I was answering an opening question — “How are you feeling, really?” — at Peoplehood, a space created by Julie Rice and Elizabeth Cutler, previous founders of SoulCycle. Peoplehood hosts get-togethers, known as “gathers,” that are “designed to improve our relationships, starting with ourselves,” as described on its site.

Said gathers take place in a three-story space in New York, and are also accessible through virtual sessions. When I entered the New York studio, it immediately registered as SoulCycle coded, down to all-white lobby, equipped with lockers for our belongings. But there were no bikes in sight and instead of a grapefruit Jonathan Adler candle, Mad et Len Spirituelle was burning in the gathering space.

Going into the experience I had mixed feelings. I love learning about the dynamics of relationships and reflecting on my own through practices like guided meditation. On the other hand, I’m pretty guarded when it comes to getting vulnerable around strangers, and wasn’t sure how far this would push me out of my comfort zone.

When the session was about to start, our “guide” Connor ran through Peoplehood’s pledge, which also calls for confidentiality and respecting other group members “beyond differences.” Connor then led us through some breathwork choreographed to music.

Then it was time for the aforementioned opening question. If there was a part of me that had considered holding back when my turn came around, it was quashed by my fellow participants’ willingness to get vulnerable. People opened up about a range of trials and tribulations, from adjusting to a big move to having a change of heart about a career path. The responses were a far cry from the typical “Fine, thanks” we’ve all come to expect when asking, “How are you?”

We completed an exercise tied to the five senses, then moved on to the main focus of the session, which was centered around becoming better listeners. First, we’d sharpen our “higher listening” skills, Connor explained. They directed us to break into groups of two, and to spend three minutes each answering the question, “Who or what do you feel out of touch with?” Importantly, the partner who wasn’t speaking shouldn’t interrupt at all.

I’ve never considered myself a poor listener, but it took everything in me not to “mhmm” intermittently to let my partner know that her somewhat-personal response was resonating. Questions that I’d otherwise ask her ran through my mind, as I’ve always considered thoughtful follow-up a part of active listening. When she finished early, we sat in awkward silence until it was my turn.

We switched partners and launched into our second listening exercise, which Connor referred to as “playing it back.” It was similar, but this time the listening partner had to summarize everything they’d been told at the end of the three minutes. After all was said and done, I had a new appreciation for podcast hosts with interviewing skills.

We wrapped up with a reflection on how we wanted to spend our summers and more breathwork. From start to finish, the session lasted an hour.

I can see Peoplehood appealing to the same crowd that found a sense of community and spiritual fulfillment in SoulCycle circa 2010. Connor and the rest of my group had a welcoming presence, even though most of them were newcomers like me. Finding that can be really comforting if you’re feeling lonely or isolated.

Peoplehood pushed me out of my comfort zone as someone who dreads even regular icebreakers. At the same time, I didn’t feel like I was ever pressured to share something personal, and I was pleased to walk away with new insights. Specifically, the exercises reminded me that everyone’s going through something, and made me want to become a better listener.

But enough about me — how are you?

Renee Cherry is a POPSUGAR contributor who specializes in beauty and wellness. Her writing has appeared in Shape, Women’s Health, Glamour, and Well+Good, among other publications.