Negotiation skills aren’t “special occasion skills”, they are “every day skills” and can (and should) be used any time you’re communicating with another human.
They can be used to help effective communication with your teenager, toddler, partner, boss, client, team mate, friend, neighbour, kids’ sporting umpire, local politician, government minister or union representative.
There are negotiation techniques “hiding in plain sight” that can bring us back into conversation when things head south and can avoid conflict occurring in the first instance.
Next week, I’m heading to the US for three weeks to spend time with my NYPD and FBI crisis and hostage negotiation contacts to further hone my negotiation skills. The more equipped I am in these skills and techniques, the more I can help other humans along the way to reap the benefits.
As a professional negotiator with years of experience, I’ve been following various negotiation disputes involving the teacher’s union, nurses union and even the police union. There are particular negotiation principles that can be applied to current situations, which can assist negotiations in avoiding breakdowns.
Whilst the threat of strike action is a drastic response, it is usually only applied when a particular party feels they aren’t being listened to. Only sometimes are drastic actions taken because demands or conditions aren’t being met, most often it is a result of not feeling heard or understood.
There are many negotiation methods they are highly effective, but are completely underestimated, and as a result, professionals often place little value on using them, looking only for big and bold strategies instead, when often, there are answers hiding in plain sight.
One real example was when I was brought in to assist a major manufacturer with their EBA negotiations. Strike action was imminent, and the senior management in both parties were frustrated and dialogue ceased.
Upon recommending some of these “hiding in plain sight” techniques, these were originally scoffed at, until they had tried all else, and failed.
When trying these techniques, they were able to open a collaborative dialogue, which then lead to reaching agreement.
Here are four commonly under-estimated strategies that could also be applied to help these difficult union negotiations, among other organisations or parties currently struggling to agree.
1. Find ways to connect.
When we truly connect with people, it makes it easier to reach agreement.
I’m not saying that it makes it easy to agree, I’m suggesting it makes it easier.
This is because people are more likely to agree with people they like.
On the contrary, people are more likely to disagree with people they don’t like.
This is not about becoming best friends with your negotiation partner, however it’s about trying to find commonalities that show you have similar mindsets.
It could be you have kids the same age, you share the same industry frustrations, you’re watching the same Netflix series, or you’re both fed up with how long the negotiations have gone on.
If you search hard enough, you’ll find something in common to bond you to some degree.
2. Commit to small increments of agreement.
Slow down, to speed up.
In your agenda, suggest you come together for the purpose of attempting to reach agreement on one element only. Don’t try and agree on all the points, just go for one.
Then, before the meeting ends, agree a time and date for the next discussion, which could be tomorrow, or a few weeks down the track.
3. Come prepared with open questions and take the position of asking, rather than telling.
Truly try and see the perspective of your negotiation partners and try to really hear why their points are so important.
Asking questions, rather than making statements is extremely powerful and one of the most effective techniques where if executed correctly, leads to your negotiation partner removing their own roadblocks.
4. Prepare before the meeting.
Ensure your meeting is held on neutral ground, or alternative locations between both partners.
If the meeting is on your site, give your key contact a phone call 2 hours prior, and ask for all their coffee orders, to have them ready upon arrival. Starting your meeting with a small gesture, can make a huge difference.
In the EBA scenario with the manufacturer, some of the ‘’hiding in plain sight” strategies I gave them were: arrange a meeting with the key people from the union and invite them around lunch time, tell them you’re providing sandwiches.
In the meeting room you’ve booked, remove all the tables, and place a few random chair around, as tables can be a barrier.
Dress casually, don’t wear your manufacturing “whites” and avoid wearing any company branded merchandise, and call them before the meeting to take their coffee orders.
I also armed them to share something personal of themselves when they were chit-chatting with the union delegates as they arrived.
This allowed for a group of humans, to have a casual conversation, whilst breaking bread, and building connection. They got to see each other as humans, and not representatives from big corporations.
These same skills and techniques can help all of us in our everyday lives . . . Give them a try and see!
Julia Ewert is a sales strategist and professional negotiator, based in Perth, Western Australia