‘Kelmscott Conundrum’: O’Neil Real Estate agent’s brutal commentary in trashed home listing and walk-through

Just when you thought the property market could not get any worse, one real estate agent has listed a house he admitted is the worst-presented home he has ever shown.

The home, located at 19 Ryland Rd, Kelmscott, in Perth’s southeast, was described as “dirty” by O’Neil Real Estate residential sales consultant Ash Swarts.

Mr Swarts told prospective buyers they just had to take a look at the Perth property, because it did not get any crazier.

“Why is this even on the market? The current owners just upped and left,” he said in the listing.

“Everything you see here is included in the sale so you better be prepared to get your hands dirty because you’re definitely going to be getting them dirty here.”

The “Kelmscott Conundrum” can be viewed online with photos showing room after room trashed with old junk and furniture that was left there by the current owners.

Camera IconMr Swarts said the home needed a little elbow grease and TLC. Credit: O’Neil Real Estate/O’Neil Real Estate
Welcome to the "Kelmscott Challenge" - a 4-bedroom, 2-bathroom home that's less of a fixer-upper and more of an extreme makeover waiting to happen. This newer house, unfortunately, took a detour down Damage Lane, offering a unique blend of opportunity and adventure.
Step inside, and you'll find a spacious layout with four bedrooms - one of which features a ceiling that's more on the floor than above your head. It's perfect for those who appreciate indoor sky views! The two bathrooms come complete with surprise features, including a bong thoughtfully left behind for your, um, recreational enjoyment.
Camera IconThe home kitchen complete with wheel dolly. Credit: O’Neil Real Estate/O’Neil Real Estate

“This is pretty horrible,” Mr Swarts admitted in the online advertisement.

“Don’t even look at what’s in the bathroom there.”

The house is advertised on the agent’s website as a fixer-upper, but “more of an extreme makeover waiting to happen”.

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“This newer house, unfortunately, took a detour down Damage Lane, offering a unique blend of opportunity and adventure.”

The four bedroom home boasts a ceiling on the floor that was “more on the floor than above your head” and was “perfect for those who appreciated an indoor sky view”.

The bathrooms come complete with surprise features, that included a bong that was thoughtfully “left behind for your, um, recreational enjoyment,” while the living room included a treasure trove of old furniture that would be perfect kindling for the fireplace.

Welcome to the "Kelmscott Challenge" - a 4-bedroom, 2-bathroom home that's less of a fixer-upper and more of an extreme makeover waiting to happen. This newer house, unfortunately, took a detour down Damage Lane, offering a unique blend of opportunity and adventure.
Step inside, and you'll find a spacious layout with four bedrooms - one of which features a ceiling that's more on the floor than above your head. It's perfect for those who appreciate indoor sky views! The two bathrooms come complete with surprise features, including a bong thoughtfully left behind for your, um, recreational enjoyment.
Camera IconA viewing of the property was highly recommended Mr Swarts said. Credit: O’Neil Real Estate/O’Neil Real Estate
Welcome to the "Kelmscott Challenge" - a 4-bedroom, 2-bathroom home that's less of a fixer-upper and more of an extreme makeover waiting to happen. This newer house, unfortunately, took a detour down Damage Lane, offering a unique blend of opportunity and adventure.
Step inside, and you'll find a spacious layout with four bedrooms - one of which features a ceiling that's more on the floor than above your head. It's perfect for those who appreciate indoor sky views! The two bathrooms come complete with surprise features, including a bong thoughtfully left behind for your, um, recreational enjoyment.
Camera IconA view of the home’s outdoor area. Credit: O’Neil Real Estate/O’Neil Real Estate

The home was built in 1977, and is currently on the market in Perth’s southeast for under $500,000.

“Viewing is highly recommended,” the agent said.

“Bring your flashlight, your sense of humour, and perhaps a hazmat suit.”

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