2024 is almost here, which means people are starting to focus on their New Year’s resolutions — despite research suggesting these annual vows of self-improvement only work a fraction of the time.
Failed or overly strict resolutions can have a negative impact on our mental health, says Michelle Turk, a licensed marriage and family therapist with virtual primary and mental health care platform PlushCare.
“It can lead to feelings of inadequacy, which can harm self-esteem and lead to self-criticism. Overly strict goals can also lead to an increase in stress and/or anxiety,” she says. “Repeated failures at overly strict goals can lead to a person believing that personal growth or change is unachievable, which can be disheartening.”
So, how can we better achieve our goals for the new year? We asked some experts how to tweak those resolutions for success.
Skip overly strict, unapproachable goals
“When setting New Year’s resolutions, I recommend shifting the focus from drastic, all-or-nothing, ‘outcome-based’ goals to more approachable goals that celebrate small victories along the way,” says Nicholette Leanza, a licensed professional clinical counselor with LifeStance Health.
For example, instead of aiming to lose a certain number of pounds, set a goal to engage in 20 minutes of physical activity a day, she suggests.
“Pick an activity that you genuinely enjoy and look forward to,” Leanza says. “This reframes the resolution to focus on not just a physical end-goal and external results, but how it impacts your overall well-being.”
Turk agrees it’s a great idea to shift away from viewing resolutions as “strict targets” and instead consider them “guidelines toward leading a more balanced life.”
“It’s essential to approach resolutions with a healthy mindset and realistic expectations,” she adds. “Being too strict or setting unattainable goals can have negative impacts on mental health. Instead, focus on progress and self-compassion… acknowledging that progress is not always linear and that setbacks happen but they don’t mean that you haven’t progressed towards your goals.”
Skip inflexible time frames
Remember that resolutions don’t have to be confined to the start of the year, Leanza says, noting that we have the ability to adopt changes to our lifestyles every day.
This can be an especially useful shift for thinking of resolutions as a consistent effort as opposed to a January challenge.
“Instead of going all in on Dry January, consider adopting a more mindful, moderate approach to alcohol consumption through the year, fostering a ‘sober curious’ lifestyle rather than a temporary abstinence,” Leanza suggested as an example.
Turk says it’s important to incorporate flexibility into our goals as well.
“Be open to adjusting them as life evolves over the course of the year,” she says. “One of the things we want to do is shift away from the idea of a drastic change that just happens on January 1 and instead focus on continuous improvement over the course of the year.”
Skip vague, unrealistic goals
Leanza says a common resolution she sees is wanting to be “more positive,” but warns it may be frustratingly unrealistic.
“It is essential to recognize that trying to be ‘positive’ 100% of the time isn’t realistic and can quickly turn into toxic positivity,” she says. “Embracing a range of emotions, including those that aren’t super positive, is OK. Labeling other emotions as bad or off-limits can be very counterproductive in the long run.”
The same frustration may come up with vague resolutions like “be happier.” While it’s a good intention, Turk says it can be more useful to come up with small, more specific goals to help you get there.
For example, if you’re looking to “be happier,” plan to engage in things that can bring you joy, like “engaging in a self-care activity for 10 minutes each day or exercising for 20 minutes, 3 days a week,” she suggests.
Another approach is to divide larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps.
“For example, if you want to start a new hobby, break it down into researching options, buying supplies and dedicating a specific time each week to practice,” Turk says. “This approach can make our goal less overwhelming.”