“They say it’s a ‘disaster’ that women are not having children in South Korea. But when I think about the potential downsides of not having children, [for me] there is nothing.”
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South Korean influencer promotes childless, unmarried life on YouTube
South Korean influencer promotes childless, unmarried life on YouTube
Seen wrote about the joy she found in opting out of society’s expectations and embracing solo living in her book I Can’t Help but Live Well on My Own, which has become a surprise hit.
It briefly topped a major bestseller chart in South Korea, with an enthusiastic response not only from other single women in their 30s but also from an older generation, including people who had been widowed or divorced.
She enthused in the book about having “the freedom to be as lazy as I want” and not being criticised for it.
“While some people might marry because they dislike being alone, others choose not to meet anyone simply because they enjoy lying around,” she wrote.
Experts have suggested that many young Koreans opt out of marriage and child-rearing at least in part for economic reasons, pointing to stagnant growth, sky-high home prices in the capital Seoul and intense competition for well-paying jobs.
When I said I was happy, [some people] strongly denied it. They seemed to think there’s no way that could be true
“Traditionally defined gender role expectations in the family domain as well as tension between genders are definitely related to the current low birth rate,” says Hyeyoung Woo, a sociology professor at Portland State University, in the US state of Oregon.
“I’ve never worked for a big conglomerate, do not live in the city and never been married,” she says.
Her life in Seoul was miserable, Seen says, as she had to suffer through an exhausting commute and a stressful, abusive workplace.
After living overseas for years, working random jobs – from hotel housekeeper to packing meat in a chicken factory – and posting videos about her life online, she returned to South Korea and settled in a rural town.
A single YouTube video now earns her five times more than she used to get monthly as a salaried worker in Seoul, and she can “live a much more autonomous life – which is extremely satisfying”, she says.
But her social media posts about her joyful single life have also attracted backlash online, with critics claiming that in reality, Seen must be lonely, or calling her “selfish” for not getting married.
“Married people often post photos of their children and share happy images of their married life, and no one really criticises that,” Seen says.
“But when I said I was happy, [some people] strongly denied it. They seemed to think there’s no way that could be true.”
Seen says she has been in several fulfilling relationships, but her autonomy and adventurous lifestyle are her top priority, over starting a family.
The fact that her book has become a runaway success proves that you “can still be the best at something even though you live a non-mainstream life”, she says.
Most couples who have children do it because it will make them happy, not out of concern for humanity’s future – and people who live alone have also made choices aimed at happiness, which should be respected, she says.
She is proud of her contributions to the world. While others were having children, “I gave birth to two YouTube channels and a book,” she says.