There is little worse than wasted anticipation, a pizza stuck to the top of the home delivery box, a Starbucks coffee cup that leaks, a second date with a woman who only orders menu items marked “Market Price.”
It was with great anticipation and enthusiasm that I recently attended a Division III college football game between conservative church-affiliated schools in Western Pennsylvania, thus it held the promise of appearing and being enjoyed as a football game as opposed to a circus of regrets that forces folks to be compromised by everything less.
What a waste of Pollyanna optimism. The game’s outcome was largely determined by back-to-back out-of-bounds unsportsmanlike conduct penalties. First downs were attached to the as-seen-on-TV immodest first down-signaling by the receiver or ball carrier, and post-play muscle-flexing appeared requisite.
At one point a player caught a pass, rose, then blew kisses toward the stands, where gratuitously cruel words were shouted at the visiting team’s cheerleaders, especially one who was overweight.
By halftime I wanted a piece of every fool responsible for doing this to football — from the pandering, no-upside, pro-swagger media, to TV executives who mindlessly sell and stress images of garbage ball to the nation as a sport, to the Roger Goodells and Rob Manfreds of our world who spend their quality time in their counting houses rather than tending to the quality of their businesses — as per their soulfully and solemnly boasted duties.
Given that he had an entire offseason to work on what clearly was vandalizing the NBA scene — increasing incivilities among in-house fans, players, coaches and even team executives as too often aided by public address announcers and antisocial media typists who confuse basketball with holy wars — one would think that Adam Silver had both the time and inclination to launch a P.R. campaign to restore the NBA as marginal family entertainment.
After all, why bother trying to hide the conspicuous? Why not at least try, “Cut it out or get out”? “Grow up or be gone”?
But nothing. Pretend there’s no problem and carry on. Thus the Lakers-Nuggets NBA opener last week was polluted by “fans” who weren’t there just to cheer on the Nuggets, but to taunt, mock, curse and belittle the Lakers — as “good fans” now must do no matter how it leaves everything, including basketball, in need of a commissioner who doesn’t wait until it’s far too late — one lowlight being a chant of “Who’s your Daddy?” late in the Nuggets’ victory.
Hey, but as long as the public keeps throwing away their money on league-sponsored parlay sucker bets, what else is there for commissioners to worry about?
Shocking ESPNers Michael & Mike together on ESPN
Amazing how last week Michael Kay’s ESPN Radio show was able to land ESPN Radio’s Mike Greenberg for a cozy chat.
Those familiar with this decades-long con recognize it as ESPN’s relentless, shameless and worthless cross-promotion of everything and everyone carrying the ESPN/Disney brand.
Is it me or has Craig Carton, since leaving WFAN for Fox/FS1 national morning drive fame and fortune, disappeared without a trace?
Reader Al Masi suggests that what used to be known as the World Series under Rob Manfred now seems more like the last round of a “just qualify tournament.”
Wednesday’s Cavaliers-Nets included 70 3-point heaves, making a season-opening NBA game as easy to abandon as any hundred of aimless NBA mortar sessions played last season. The Celtics-Knicks opener the night before was choked by 80 attempted 3s.
As MLB’s postseason has followed the analytics insanity that replaces effective relievers every half inning, does it dawn on any nodding no-questions-asked media, let alone managers and GMs, to note that few-to-none of these relievers were signed or drafted as relievers but as starters? They can throw more than 12 pitches!
Professional phony Boomer Esiason had his daughter as a morning drive guest last week. He kept it clean for her — no pee-pee and poo-poo or naughty boy grammar-school crotch-giggles stuff. Of course, your families proceed at their own “all sports” radio peril.
MSG’s Rangers have distributed a questionnaire to ticket-buyers past and current focused on what now counts most: sports gambling preferences and frequencies.
After all, by now, if Gary Bettman has played his cards right, no genuine sports hockey fan doesn’t have at least one bet on every game.
Please let me know if you hear anything worth hearing on Pat McAfee’s already worn new ESPN slob show. I’m tired of waiting.
No, his cheap-bait vulgarities don’t count but do offer evidence of how low and desperate a Disney network will stoop to try to attract young and easy desensitized reprobates. And ESPN staffers know it.
Once again SNY seeks relevance in NYC by promoting, first and foremost, UConn’s teams as per SNY’s contracts. How such intentionally tapered coverage benefits SNY escapes me.
Knicks great pitched for shutout White Sox
Great trivia question submitted by reader Jim Vespe: On Aug. 13, 1963, two Hall of Famers won as starting pitchers while two other Hall of Fame starters lost. Name them.
The losers: Jim Bunning and Juan Marichal.
The winners: Warren Spahn and Dave DeBusschere, the latter having gone all nine in a shutout for the White Sox.
Here, ere, everywhere, but why? With a suburban Cleveland team scheduled to play a high school team from a large Jewish enclave early this month, its coach, Tim McFarland, prior to resigning, changed his team’s line-of-scrimmage verbal commands to include “Nazi,” among other slurs.
Between-periods Devils TV analyst, ex-Devil Bryce Salvador, Tuesday on MSG presented a strong show-and-tell of new Devils forward Timo Meier refusing to give up on a puck played past him then chasing it down to set up a goal vs. Montreal. Good hustling hockey. Good TV.
Perhaps NBC’s Cris Collinsworth isn’t as insufferable as I’ve portrayed. Perhaps it’s more a matter of bad timing, that after roughly eight consecutive hours of CBS and Fox Sunday afternoon NFL blather, three hours of Collinsworth seems a violation of the Geneva Convention.
Does anyone understand that proposed new Mets manager Craig Counsell, as Brewers manager, more closely mirrored Aaron Boone’s misapplied analytics than Buck Showalter’s applied wisdom?
As a matter of clarity it’s time “Comedian” appeared in a graphic beneath Kevin Hart in his DraftKings commercials. Based on their clever-free content, his shallow, hollering presence and the bookmaking operation’s planned endgame, the one thing they’re not is funny.
Every time ESPN purchases rights to a sport, it feels bound to mess with it as per its ill-advised sensibilities. Thus, again this season, NHL power plays are attached to distracting, annoying and unneeded floating balloons identifying the player with the puck — even if for less than an instant — making what was originally tough to see impossible.
Jets-Giants, 1 p.m. Sunday on CBS. We get Andrew Catalon, who needs to revert to speaking plain football English to us, with Tiki Barber and Matt Ryan.