1/5 stars
All 12 members of Hong Kong’s reigning Cantopop boy band Mirror star in a movie together for the very first time in We 12, an unabashedly hollow piece of fan service masquerading as a mainstream commercial feature made for general consumption.
Sadly, their individual charisma is swept aside for this publicity exercise for the collective, which adopts an ill-advised, equal-opportunity approach to idol making: each member gets roughly the same screen time and all 12 of them enjoy top billing – their names are even listed in alphabetical order in the credits in case anyone’s feelings might be hurt.
Professional due diligence dictates that this writer must begin to provide a plot synopsis sooner rather than later but, readers, that is frankly beside the point here.
Suffice to say that this nonsensical story involves 12 master thieves – played by, and named after, the Mirror members – who are given a rare group mission: to steal a world-threatening mosquito zapper at a science award ceremony held in a Hong Kong hotel, which is guarded by the evil security manager Johnny (Yeung Wai-lun).
The group’s secretive boss begins by declaring that these young men are sorely lacking team spirit – a quip on Mirror’s real-life activities – and this statement immediately raises another question in the viewers’ minds: why should these 12 be anywhere near a world-saving mission in the first place?
As another illustration of the scattershot nature of this mess, every protagonist has been supplied with a special ability, like “lock-picking”, “lip-reading” or “hypnosis”, although quite a few read like unintended jokes: “agility” and “strategic planning” being two, while the guy with “sixth sense” is lauded for being lucky.
Ironically, if not unexpectedly, the effortlessly eccentric Yeung Wai-lun proves the funniest presence in a production meant solely to capitalise on the boy band’s immense popularity. The sweet Malaysian actress Lin Min-chen and members of fellow pop group Error also have diverting cameos, although this is undoubtedly Mirror’s show.
Consider this a litmus test of fandom: We 12 is a must-see for followers of the group and a hard pass for anyone with good sense.