Let’s talk about sex ba-by. Let’s talk about you and me.
Or. . . maybe not?
In news to sadden the sex-positive Salt-n-Pepa, an Australian sex education book for tweens and teens has been yanked from the shelves of one big retailer after staff were targeted by aggressive customers who presumably think kids should learn about sex the way they did (illicitly smuggled copies of Playboy, looking up rude words in the dictionary and reverse engineering overheard jokes).
This is a story about children, sex education and the thorny question of how, when and what parents should teach their kids about sex. It’s also a story about efforts to import US-style religious right campaigns against anything perceived to be telling kids that the Kinsey scale goes all the way up to six. And it’s a story about the fine line journalists must tread in deciding what to report.
As I was saying: SEX. Sorry, that was just to get your attention again.
The story so far: adolescent health expert Dr Melissa Kang (best known to a generation of magazine-reading teens as Dolly Doctor) and author Yumi Stynes recently published Welcome to Sex. The book goes beyond mere technicalities to cover everything from penis size (boys care about it a lot more than girls, the book wisely advises) to oral sex (responding to someone too embarrassed to tell friends she has no idea what this “69” she keeps hearing about actually involves).
Groups, some Christian-aligned, went after Big W for stocking the book in its stores, suggesting it was inappropriate for kids. These groups don’t merit the free publicity naming them would achieve but they tend to be anti-abortion, anti-trans rights and oppose all forms of surrogacy. A fun bunch.
This all flew below the radar until the story was picked up by mainstream media, at which point Big W staff started to receive some aggro and decided to sell the book online only. (If you’re harassing minimum wage employees about something out of their control, is it possible you’re the baddies? Something to think about).
In Australia, we have the luxury of laughing at the antics of the religious right in the US, where books are banned from schools for acknowledging the existence of gay people. This shemozzle is an indication some Australians, albeit a tiny minority, wouldn’t mind the same thing here.
It’s also a warning to the media (hand me that mirror) about the risks of reporting on (sometimes confected) outrage.
Books like Welcome to Sex are setting a generation of kids up to be open and frank about things like sexual health, consent, gender fluidity and the emotions tied up in sex in a way that was not really an option to many past generations.
Ideally, this is a book to be purchased by a parent, who can decide if and when their child is ready for it. But critics who say sex education should be left entirely up to parents overlooks the fact that some parents are idiots. Or too embarrassed to be candid. Or abusive. Or maybe they are just deluded about how innocent their 13-year-old is.
Kids who learn about sex exclusively from their peers are likely to come away with some warped ideas. One poll of 500 kids aged 11 to 14 found common misconceptions were that you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex, it’s unhealthy for a boy with an erection to go without sex (nice try, guys) and using tampons means you’re no longer a virgin.
To those whose sex education comprised a copy of Where Did I Come From and perhaps a run down on the basics from a red-faced parent or teacher, a book like Welcome to Sex can seem shockingly frank.
Do you know what else can be shockingly frank? Pornography! This is where plenty of kids are learning about sex — or think they are. One estimate suggests nearly half of all Australian boys have seen porn by the time they’re 13. For girls, it’s 15.
Anyone who thinks an accurate book with a focus on consent, pleasure and safety is more of a risk to kids than letting them believe fake boobs and faker orgasms are fundamental ingredients to sex needs to have a long hard look at themselves. Or sit down to watch some porn before running, not walking, to get a copy of Welcome to Sex. . . if they can find one.
Because the postscript to this story is that the publicity has made Welcome to Sex a best-seller online. All authors should wish to become so “cancelled” by the religious right.